


Five Places Sans Most Definitely Should NOT Be Sleeping

by Doctor_Discord



Series: Five Times... [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Flowey (Undertale) Being an Asshole, Happy Frisk, Happy Sans (Undertale), I guess possible Sansby if you really REALLY squint in Chapter 2, Kidnapping, Mettaton is a worried boyfriend, No More Resets (Undertale), Sans falls asleep in some weird-ass places my dudes, Selectively Mute Frisk (Undertale), Undertale Monsters on the Surface, Worried Papyrus (Undertale), almost torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 22:06:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15872640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Discord/pseuds/Doctor_Discord
Summary: Sans falls asleep in some pretty spectacularly weird and inappropriate places. This is just a small collection of those places, from tame spots like the middle of the doorway to stranger places like the inside of his trombone. With a hint of plot in the background.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, new fanfic! This is my first in the Undertale fandom, and I gotta say, I'm pretty proud! This was a hell of a lot of fun to write, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did making it! This first one is short and sweet, but then they begin to pick up a bit.

“How…How is he _doing_ that?!?”

“I’M…NOT QUITE SURE, TO BE HONEST.”

Papyrus and Undyne were both standing in the doorway of Sans’ room, gawking and speechless. The older skeleton was sleeping, as usual, but _somehow_ he’d managed to fall asleep _on top_ of the perpetual tornado in his bedroom. One of his arms dangled over the side, the other being used as a pillow, as he spun in a lazy circle, his legs curled in and tucked into his chest. He was snoring, loudly, and even though his eye sockets were closed, the two other monsters could see the glow of magic in his left eye.

Undyne cleared her throat, then crossed her arms. “Well _someone_ needs to wake this dork up, because he’s late for his sentry duty and I swear I will beat his ass into next week if we miss a human coming through here because _he_ couldn’t stay awake long enough to care about something other than his next nap.” She finished her statement with a huff, glaring at the sleeping monster.

“UNDYNE, THE ONLY THINGS THAT CAN WAKE MY BROTHER UP ARE PUNS AND NIGHTMARES, NEITHER OF WHICH APPEAR TO BE HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON. WE JUST NEED TO LEAVE HIM BE.”

Undyne raised an eyebrow, glancing at Papyrus. “Nightmares huh? What could your lazy, slacker of a brother _possibly_ have nightmares about?”

Papyrus tapped his fingers together, sweating nervously under the fish monster’s steely gaze. “UM, WELL, HE NEVER…HE NEVER REALLY TELLS ME, BUT-BUT-BUT WHEN YOU HAVE ONLY ONE HP, I GUESS THERE’S A LOT TO BE AFRAID OF.” He slapped a hand over his mouth, eyelights shrinking until they were barely visible.

Undyne’s jaw dropped. “One…only _one_ HP?!? What the _fuck_?!?”

“LANGUAGE, UNDYNE,” Papyrus scolded half-heartedly. Sans made a noise on his sleep, and both intruders flinched. “HE _REALLY_ DOESN’T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT. I’M PRETTY SURE WE’RE THE ONLY TWO WHO ACTUALLY KNOW, YOU CAN’T TELL ANYONE, _PLEASE_ UNDYNE.”

Papyrus was giving her puppy-dog eyes, his right eye glowing orange faintly from distress. Sans rolled over in his sleep, both legs now dangling of the tornado as well as that one arm, the other now draped across his chest. His snoring quieted down to deep, even breaths. Sighing, Undyne walked slowly over to Sans’ bed, plucking a deep blue blanket from the compressed ball of sheets, and wordlessly laid it over the sleeping skeleton. Mentally warring with herself and not _quite_ understanding why she was doing this, she marched out of the room, keenly aware of Papyrus’ confused stare at her back.

“You comin’ or not, Papyrus? We both have to work twice as hard now that your lazy brother isn’t coming into work today.” She didn’t have to turn around to know that Papyrus was beaming. His smile always just radiated magic. She was tackled from behind in a hug.

“THA NK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL WORK _TRIPLE_ TO MAKE UP FOR SANS! NO ONE HUMAN WILL GET PAST ME, NYEH HEH HEH!”

Undyne let her own grin form. He was just so energetic and enthusiastic; it was infectious. “Alright, alright, get off me! Now get to your post, soldier!” Papyrus snapped a brief salute before running off, laughing. She allowed her gaze to wonder back over to Sans’ sleeping form, her eye narrowing slightly. “I know you’re hiding secrets,” she mumbled. Sans frowned in his sleep, shifting a little bit. “And you bet I’m gonna find a way to get them out of you. Punk.”

Quietly, she closed his bedroom door, then went to follow Papyrus outside.


	2. Chapter 2

Sans quietly opened his bedroom door, stifling a yawn. It was late, way later than when he usually got home, but Toriel had wanted a lengthy update on how Frisk was doing in the Underground, asking him to detail everything. Conversations were difficult through the massive Ruins door, but Sans had complied. He never understood why she wouldn’t just…leave the door open. He’d asked once, a long, _long_ time ago, and she had refused to speak to him for days. It was probably best he left that topic alone.

Pausing in the center of his room, Sans stretched, much like a cat, and finally allowed himself to yawn hugely. Each joint popped and cracked, leaving the skeleton immensely satisfied and exhausted. _‘_ _man, all i want to do right now is go to bed._ _’_ Even as the thought floated through his mind, Sans outwardly cringed, eyelights sweeping over his dimly lit room. His bed was an absolute wreck; the sheets and blankets were nothing but a compacted ball in the corner, and he was fairly certain the mattress was beginning to grow mold, easily cutting that choice out. The floor wasn’t an option either, as his little tornado had decided to do a bit of exploring and destroy… _everything_. Either that or Toby had come charging through like a wrecking ball. With his luck, probably both, and the end result was an assortment of God knows what scattered across his floor, most of which he couldn’t even see in the dark. Normally, when faced with this scenario, Sans would go sleep on the couch and deal with Papyrus’ peeved rant in the morning, but he was so tired he didn’t have the energy to even shortcut downstairs, let alone _walk_.

Sighing, he rubbed at his eye sockets, yawning again. When his hands dropped, something caught his eye: his trombone, laying carefully in the only mess-free corner of his room. Sans stared, cocking his head to the side, then blinked and shrugged. “at least i know it’s clean,” he muttered, walking over with his hands jammed in his pockets. His trombone was probably the cleanest object he owned; it was his world, second only to Papyrus. It was the only thing he owned he actively took care of without his brother nagging at him. He even polished it twice a day. So, taking one last look at his precious instrument, Sans closed his eyes and snapped his fingers, smiling sleepily as he was suddenly hit with a wave of vertigo.

When the nausea passed, Sans cracked open one eye, his grin somehow becoming lazier as he gazed up and the now gigantic trombone. Shrinking himself wasn’t something he did often, at the risk of Toby thinking he was a snack (as if the hyper little dog _already_ didn’t eat _most_ of Papyrus’ bone attacks), but it certainly was cool seeing the world so much bigger than he was used to. Magic flaring in his left eye, he prepared himself for the exertion of shortcutting inside, no _way_ was he climbing up the bell, and in a brief flash of light he was there.

Sitting down, he slid down the slope of the bell into the inner tube of his precious instrument, immediately curling into a ball in the dark. He was _so_ tired. His trombone was warm to the touch and humming with his own magic, making Sans feel like he was wrapped in a cocoon of comfort and safety. He sighed, pulling his jacket tighter around himself. The skeleton was out like a light within seconds.

* * *

 

“SANS! WAKE UP, YOU LAZY BONES, YOU HAVE TO GET TO WORK!” Papyrus enthusiastically slammed his brother’s bedroom door open, only to stop dead when he saw that Sans wasn’t in his room. His eye sockets narrowed suspiciously. “SANS?”

There was a sudden tugging on one of his gloves. “NYEH? OH, HELLO, HUMAN! DID YOU SLEEP WELL?” He beamed down at the tiny child, who returned the expression. Frisk had taken to the skeleton brothers rather quickly, and Papyrus has been easily swayed to allow the child to stay with them. Initially, Frisk had spending their nights on the couch, but lately they had taken to sleeping with Papyrus in his room. The younger skeleton sometimes woke to the human curled into tiny ball, shivering violently and sobbing in their sleep. Papyrus always just pulled them closer, having dealt with Sans’ night terrors for years. He couldn’t help but feel his soul crack each time this tiny, young human woke screaming. He wondered if this the cause of these nightmares was the reason they never spoke.

But, right now, they were staring up at him with a quizzical expression, signing slowly, as Papyrus still struggled with their strange way of communication. _“What’s wrong?”_

Papyrus ruffled their hair, going back to scanning Sans’ room. “NOTHING IS THE MATTER, HUMAN! SANS JUST APPEARS TO NOT BE IN HIS ROOM, WHICH IS…UNUSUAL, BUT I AM QUITE CONFIDENT MY DEAR BROTHER HAS JUST FALLEN ASLEEP SOMEWHERE AND DIDN’T THINK TO TELL ANYONE WHERE HE WAS GOING.” The talker skeleton finished his sentence with a huff, crossing his arms. At Frisk’s slightly alarmed expression, he decided to elaborate more. “THE LAST TIME SANS WENT ‘MISSING’, GRILLBY FOUND HIM THE NEXT MORNING PASSED OUT IN HIS PANTRY AND SNUGGLING WITH A JUMBO PACK OF KETCHUP.” He shot Frisk a reassuring smile. “I AM SURE SANS IS FINE, FRISK.”

Frisk giggled, and Papyrus let out an exasperated sigh. “I’M GOING TO GO GET GRILLBY. HE HAS AN UNUSUAL AND VERY USEFUL TALENT OF BEING ABLE TO FIND SANS, WHEREVER HE MAY BE.” He crouched down to Frisk’s level, placing one gloved hand on top of their head. “YOU STAY HERE AND SEE IF HE’S ANYWHERE IN THE HOUSE. I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL BE BACK SHORTLY.” Frisk beamed at him, then darted into Sans’ room. Papyrus stood, then marched out the front door.

_‘_ _SERIOUSLY SANS, THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH._ _’_

* * *

 

“I AM SO SORRY, GRILLBY, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY SANS IS ACTING LIKE THIS! EVER SINCE THE HUMAN-”

Grillby cut him off with a chuckle, his voice crackly with equal parts amusement and exasperation as he stepped into the skeleton brothers’ home. “It’s fine, Papyrus. I’m always happy to help find our strange little skeleton.” His voice always reminded Papyrus of the way wood crackled and popped in a hearth.

Their conversation was cut short as Frisk came bounding down the stairs, giggling madly. They grabbed one of Papyrus’ hands in both their own and began attempting to drag him toward the stairs, still giggling to themselves. Papyrus and Grillby exchanged a look before turning back to the tiny human. “WHAT IS IT, FRISK? DID YOU FIND SANS?” They nodded enthusiastically, and Papyrus finally allowed himself to be moved. “WELL, THEN LEAD THE WAY HUMAN!”

Frisk lead him up the stairs, Grillby following in their wake, and dropped Papyrus’ hand just before they raced into Sans’ room, bouncing up and down beside his beloved trombone. The younger skeleton paused, confused. “FRISK? SANS ISN’T IN HERE.”

Frisk stopped bouncing long enough to hastily sign _“Look inside.”_ before they dropped to floor to lay flat on their belly, peering into the trombone.

Papyrus glanced back at Grillby. He was not nearly as good at reading the fire monster’s emotions as Sans was, but even he could see the confusion and curiosity dancing in his flames. Succumbing to his own curiosity, Papyrus stepped forward, following Frisk’s example and pressing his right eye to the opening of the bell. He frowned. “IT’S TOO DARK; I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING!”

“Allow me, Papyrus.” Grillby took his place, and the usually-stoic monster immediately burst into laughter. “Well, the little human certainly found your brother!” He tilted the trombone downwards, and Papyrus’ jaw dropped to the floor as Sans, barely the size of his hand, came sliding out and onto Grillby’s palm, still fast asleep.

Grillby stood slowly, cradling Sans in one hand, and gently handed the sleeping skeleton over to his shell-shocked brother. Frisk tugged on Grillby’s pant-leg, and simultaneously the two monsters crouched down for the human to see. Gently, Papyrus poked Sans’ skull. “SANS? SANS, WAKE UP!” He poked him again for good measure.

Slowly, the miniature skeleton blinked awake, then jolted upright in alarm and let out a half-strangled, panicked noise. His magic sparked as his left eye flared a deep blue, chest heaving as he stared up at the giants surrounding him, before recognition set in and his expression changed to his normal lazy grin. “oh. hey bro. what’s up?”

Frisk laughed, Grillby appeared to roll his eyes, and Papyrus’ face dropped into an expression of flat annoyance. “YOU HAVE A JOB, SANS. WHY WERE YOU EVEN _IN_ THE TROMBONE?”

Sans shrugged, reclining back on Papyrus’ fingers and crossing his hands behind his skull. “bed’s a mess, floor’s dirty. didn’t feel like walking downstairs.” He started, eye glowing and making a surprised noise when Papyrus suddenly lifted him by the hood. “whoa! take it easy, pap!”

“COME ON, SANS! MAKE YOURSELF BIGGER!”

“nah.”

Frisk tapped Papyrus on the knee, drawing both of the skeletons’ attention. They opened their mouth before quickly closing it, cheeks a faint, rosy color as they signed, _“Can I hold him?”_

The brothers exchanged looks before Sans shrugged. “sure. i don’t see why not. just don’t drop me, kid.” Papyrus carefully placed the older skeleton into Frisk’s open palms. Sans crossed his legs, then stared back up at Frisk, whose face glowed with awe and wonder. “hey.” The human simply beamed, rubbing the back of his skull with their finger. The miniature skeleton practically melted in her hands. “oh…kay, that…feels really nice, actually.” He closed his eyes, leaning into their touch. Frisk was borderline vibrating; their whole body was shivering with excitement. Sans cracked open one eye, his features creasing with worry. “you uh, you alright there, kiddo?” Suddenly he was being gracelessly dumped into Grillby’s lap. “wh-hey! Frisk!” By the time Sans managed to get himself upright and sitting in Grillby’s palm, with the fire monster’s help of course, the child was long gone. “uh…where’d they go?”

Grillby oh-so-helpfully shrugged while Papyrus’ eye sockets narrowed. “I HAVE NO IDEA BUT I DON’T LIKE IT.”

All eyes turned to the doorway when someone cleared their throat. Frisk was back, smiling sheepishly. _“Sorry I dropped you, Sans. I just got so excited!”_

Sans just smiled. “it’s fine. but uh, whatcha wearin’ there, kid?” And just like that Frisk was bouncing up and down again, racing back over to Grillby’s side. They _were_ wearing a different sweater; instead of the usual and ever-present blue and purple stripes, it had green and blue stripes and just _had_ to have been handmade by Toriel when they were still living in the Ruins.

 _"I wanted to get this sweater because it has a pocket. See?”_ They pulled open the rather large breast pocket sewn neatly to the front for emphasis. _“I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind just riding around in my pocket all day. You wouldn’t have to go to work.”_ Frisk added the last part with a sly grin, signing much too fast for Papyrus to follow. Probably the only good thing to come out of the hundreds of RESETs is that Sans was perfectly fluent in sign language, making understanding Frisk, even when they were signing at the speed of light, a breeze.

All three monsters in the room blinked. Then Sans made a _very_ happy sound, eyelights morphing into the shape of tiny stars. “frisk that is single-handedly the best idea you have _ever_ come up with!”

They grinned, clapping happily before gently picking Sans back up. They held their sweater pocket open, and the older skeleton hopped inside, immediately snuggling down until only his head was visible. He closed his eyes, opening one just in time to see the exact moment Papyrus comprehended Frisk’s signing, slight outrage appearing on his face. Sans glanced up at Frisk, smirking. “kid now might be a good time to run.” Frisk nodded in agreement and scrambled to their feet, both of them laughing as the human ran out the door.

“HEY! HUMAN! SANS! GET BACK HERE!” They both could hear Grillby laugh as Papyrus raced after them. By that time they were already outside, tearing down the streets of Snowdin and shrieking with delight. Papyrus continued to chase after them, but now his own voice was tinted with mirth. “SANS, STOP USING THE HUMAN TO GET OUT OF WORK! COME BACK!”

“gonna have to catch us first, bro!” Frisk laughed, and Papyrus signature laughter echoed back in return. Sans felt a warmth spread through his soul.

Out of all the RESETs, this one was his favorite by far.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is short but super sweet! Papyrus is the best bro.

Monsters had made it to the surface.

Frisk had pulled through once more and had freed them from their imprisonment beneath the mountain. The humans had been surprisingly receptive this time around – it varied from timeline to timeline – and the two species were integrating quite well. The first thing Toriel, Asgore, Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, and Mettaton had done was get mass joint custody of Frisk, so the humans’ weird laws wouldn’t get in the way of their savior’s constant house-jumping, though they stayed with Toriel and the brothers most of the time. Mettaton became an overnight sensation, only one month on the surface and he already had his own TV show. Alphys had immediately gotten a job at some fancy government lab after they’d seen her work from Hotland’s Lab and learned that she was the one who built Mettaton’s host body. Toriel was working toward getting her dream school, but for now she settled on being a substitute teacher for the local schools. Asgore had his own little flower shop, Undyne had gotten a fitting job as a personal trainer, and Papyrus was taking _actual_ cooking lessons at the nearby college.

And Sans?

Sans was addicted to the light.

Every possible moment he could spare was spent outside, staring up in awe at the stars or basking in the sunlight. It didn’t matter how many RESETs he lived through; the feeling of genuine, _natural_ light on his bones was a sensation he’d never get tired of. When the monsters first emerged from Mt. Ebott and they were all scrambling for housing, Sans had immediately gravitated to a house with floor-to-ceiling length windows just inside the city borders, not caring about the cost. Turns out, the gold monsters had been using as currency for centuries was worth _much_ more to the humans than it ever was to them. Papyrus, delighted at seeing his brother so genuinely excited for something, had instantly agreed it was perfect, and they’d bought it that afternoon.

At first, Sans had been so paranoid that Frisk was gonna RESET that he couldn’t help but tense and shake whenever they saw them, despite their promises. It was only when they’d hit the one-month mark, longer than any time they’d lingered on the surface before, did he at last begin to relax and believe them, finally allowing himself to enjoy his new life and his dream home. He spent all night in his backyard that night, staring up at the stars through his telescope, his grin bright enough to match the twinkling diamonds so far above.

That being said, he _was_ still Sans, and, after a while, the novelty of the surface and his constant excited bouncing more characteristic of Papyrus than himself began to fade (never completely, stars no). He began to resume old habits, like cracking clever puns that made Toriel howl with laughter and the rest of the room groan.

And, of course, falling asleep in the most inconvenient of places.

“SANS? LADY TORIEL SAYS WE NEED TO GO SOON IF WE ARE TO GET TO THE FURNITURE STORE IN TI–IIIIIIIIIME!” Papyrus’ sentence quickly evolved into a panicked screech as he tripped over something while he was trying to walk through the back-deck doorway, thinking Sans was probably in the backyard daydreaming again. He managed to right himself just in time, stumbling onto the deck a few paces, before turning around to see what he tripped over.

He sighed. Sans was laying sprawled in the doorway, eyes closed and breathing deeply, clearly asleep. He was completely spread eagle, his jacket shed and wearing only his white t-shirt and shorts. Papyrus figured it was so he could soak up more of the sunlight. Normally, the younger skeleton wouldn’t hesitate to chew his older brother out for being lazy and wasting his day away by _sleeping_ , but something about the surface was making him go soft. Perhaps it was because Sans seemed so…happy. Papyrus couldn’t remember a time he’d seen Sans so relaxed and carefree. It was like a massive weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he’d de-aged ten years. Even his stupid puns had gotten better…not that he’d ever admit that out loud. He just couldn’t bear to disturb his brother when he looked so peaceful.

Well…that and Toby was sleeping on Sans’ chest as well and Papyrus really wasn’t in the mood to deal with the spastic little dog. He never really got along with the dog, not like Sans did. He was perfectly fine with his pet rock, thanks. Sighing again, but now smiling faintly, Papyrus moved to step back into the house, and Sans grumbled in his sleep, frowning ever-so-slightly as the taller skeleton blocked his light. In turn, Toby whined, scratching at the air as if sensing his living bed’s current discomfort.

Papyrus was quick to step inside, and Sans immediately relaxed again once the sunlight hit him, grinning widely in his sleep. He rolled over, curling around Toby and burying his face in his fur. The little dog jarred awake, licking Sans’ face a couple of times before falling back asleep himself, making a small little ‘boof’ noise. Papyrus blinked a few times as he watched the scene unfold. He was suddenly struck by just how much Sans did for him. He’d find a way to give Papyrus the world if he thought it’d make him happy. His right eye flared orange for a brief moment as he steeled his resolve, then he spun on his heel and pulled out his cell phone, heading toward the front door. “Hello? Lady Toriel?” He spoke softly, trying to avoid waking his dear brother. “Yes, I am on my way. Sans is…busy, yeah, that’s it. He’s fine, but he won’t be joining us. Thank you!” He cast one last look back at the sleeping skeleton, smiling softly, before charging out the front door to go meet his friends.

After all, Sans deserves to be happy, too.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I will embrace my bias and say that this is the most entertaining one because this one was my favorite to write!

Sans groaned, blinking his eyes open slowly to allow the world to shift back into focus. Judging by his headache and the crick in his neck, he’d fallen asleep outside again. He shifted, eyebrow ridges furrowing when he felt something hard underneath him. That wasn’t grass, nor was it his bed, which is where he usually ended up if Papyrus found him. Speaking of which, he couldn’t hear his younger brother banging around in their oversized kitchen making breakfast. And it was their week for the kid, and Frisk was usually bouncing around his room and waking him up at some ungodly hour (usually around 8:00am) to help or play a game. Where were they? And was he _sitting_? He closed his eyes, shaking his head. Stars, it felt like someone was taking a jackhammer to the inside of his skull. He let out another noise of discomfort, feeling his tongue brush against–

Wait, his _tongue_? That was only summoned if–

Sans’ eyes snapped open, headache forgotten as his magic flared up in response to his sudden panic, thin wisps of it trailing from his socket. The room he was in was dark, and very much _not_ in his home, or any of the other monsters’ homes. He _was_ sitting, on a hard, wooden chair. His tongue, something that only appeared when something was in his mouth, probed against the strip of cloth shoved between his teeth and tied around the back of his head. He moved to rip it out, but a sharp pain and a glance downward revealed that both his arms were tied to the poles that made up the back of the chair, the rope woven in between his radii and ulnae all the way up to his elbows. Thick ropes were also wound around tightly around his rib cage, ensuring that he was securely pinned to the chair. Further struggle revealed that his ankles were bound equally tight to the legs.

Sans squeezed his eyes shut, bowing his head and trying not to panic, even though he was already hyperventilating. His eye was flickering between yellow and blue so fast his magic was turning green. He shivered, not from the cold, but from the pure terror that made him feel like he’d just been doused in frigid, icy water. He wished he had his jacket. His signature blue hoodie had been making rarer and rarer appearances the longer the monsters remained on the surface, preferring to remain in just his t-shirt and basketball shorts. The only times he really wore it nowadays was when he needed the security and comfort. He _really_ needed it right now.

Through his fear-addled mind, he had enough common sense to try and teleport away, to _anywhere_ really, but the second he attempted to do so blinding pain shot down from his neck straight to his soul. He let out a choked cry, the only sound he could manage as he spasmed in place for a solid minute, breathing hard as the effects of the magic suppressor wore off. Whoever had done this to him had clearly done their research and set up all the necessary precautions. It made him feel _sick_.

He snapped his head up when he heard a noise coming from above him. Sans stopped breathing, not like he really needed to in the first place. Garbled voices drifted down to him, getting closer. He immediately cleared his face of all emotion – his captors really didn’t need to know _just_ how scared he really was – but no matter what he did he couldn’t get his eye to stop glowing, only managing to get it to stabilize to solid, bright, ethereal blue. He should be disturbed by how easily he slipped into the mask of ‘no fear’, but, with the amount of genocide runs he’d lived (and died) through, he couldn’t find it in himself to be surprised.

 He glanced around the room, looking for _anything_ that could possibly aid him, but finding nothing. It appeared empty, save for himself. He let out a muffled growl of frustration, slamming his head against the back of the chair. Again, he poked at the gag with his tongue, loathing the thing and wishing he could get rid of it somehow, when his tongue slipped and brushed his canines instead, the large teeth the only thing separating his anatomy from that of a human skeleton. Sans paused. He would’ve face-palmed himself if he was able. With a little bit of effort, he managed to shove the edge of the cloth under his fang, biting down and creating a tear. With a _lot_ more shoving and fraying later, the cloth eventually gave way. Sans was quick to spit it out, grabbing the end with his teeth and flinging it to the other side of the room. With the demeaning gag gone, he felt slightly better.

He was startled by a door suddenly slamming. He instantly smoothed his features, just in time for two humans – both male, it looked like – to appear out of the shadows draping over the room, neither of which were looking at him. He smirked lazily. “hey.”

Both humans jumped. “ _Shit_ ,” the smaller of the two exclaimed elegantly. “How did you…?”

Sans allowed his grin to widen, running his glowing tongue over his fangs before snapping his jaws at them, taking far too much pleasure in watching them flinch. The fact that he, even tied up and stripped of his magic, still scared these humans further lifted his panic. “still a monster, remember?” He leaned back, trying to maintain his infamous lazy and carefree demeanor, even though his soul was still tight with fear. “so, mind explaining what i’m doing here? ‘cause i’ve got a brother and a kid to look after and i’d rather get back to them thanks.” He couldn’t help but shift nervously, grin falling a little, when the two humans exchanged a glance, staring back at him with twin predatory smiles.

“Well, you see _monster_ ,” the taller hissed, “we don’t _like_ you here. We think your whole _disgusting_ race should be shoved right back into the hole you crawled out of. Unfortunately, this the unpopular opinion. So, we’ve decided set an example.” His smile turned feral, a gleam in his eye that reminded Sans far too much of the genocidal insanity he saw in Chara’s eyes. “It’s just perfect luck that the surrogate father of the ‘ambassador’ just _happens_ to be the weakest monster in the entire race! Makes our job much easier.” Sans couldn’t stop the growl that escaped his throat, his eye glowing brighter.

The smaller held up a knife, forcing him to stare at his own tight smile in the blade’s reflection. “I wonder what the look on your brother’s face will be like when he spots the dust on the doorstep, wrapped in your t-shirt. Will he cry? Or will he just stare, emotionless?” Sans was physically shaking, his magic beginning to flicker between colors again.

“Either way,” the taller butted in, grabbing the knife and twirling it between his fingers. “There is _nothing_. You. Can. Do about it.” He accentuated each word with a step closer to the trapped and panicked skeleton till he was right in his face, smiling coldly.

Sans didn’t know what to do. The silence rang heavy. He could look nowhere but directly into the smiling human’s eyes. He felt his magic subconsciously building up to teleport, momentarily forgetting about the repercussions, he just had to try _something_. Then–

“Hey _wait_! Col _lin_! You said I could say that part!”

And just like that the tense, threatening atmosphere vanished in a puff of smoke as the smaller human pouted, crossing his arms and glaring up at the taller – Collin, apparently – as the now-named human closed his eyes and backed away from Sans. “Nate… _shut the fuck up_. You were taking too long. Besides, you got to say the bit about his brother! I say fair trade.”

“But you _promised_!”

Sans raised an eyebrow ridge, watching as the two dissolved into petty squabbling with sheer disbelief. He blinked a couple of times, his magic dissipating from his eye for the first time since he woke up, leaving him staring with blank, pitch-black sockets. “i…uh…” The humans didn’t hear him, or, if they did, they ignored him. He was fairly certain they weren’t even _talking_ about him anymore. _‘_ _wow…these two are more boneheaded than even_ i _am._ _’_ Just as the thought crossed his mind, exhaustion crashed over him like a wave. His eyes began to slip shut. Since the threat was…not a threat anymore, and the fact that his magic had stayed in such a visible form for who knows how long, his over-panicked body was shutting down. The sounds of bickering faded into unintelligible white noise as his head drooped.

His eyes closed, and instantly the peaceful abyss of sleep washed over him.

* * *

 

“Come _on_ , Nate, that was _one time_ and literally _years_ ago you can’t be–”

“ _One_ time?! I caught you doing it last week, you dirty donut stealer!”

“Why are we even talking about this! Don’t we have more pressing things to deal with?”

“You mean more pressing than your _betrayal_ , Collin?”

“For the love of Christ, Nate–”

Both were interrupted by the sound of low, loud snore. The two humans froze, exchanging confused glances, before turning slowly toward the captured monster before them. His head was bowed low, and he was sagging in his bonds in a way that was not possible to be comfortable. The snore came again, the skeleton’s chest rising and falling in time with the sound. Collin stepped forward first, using the tip of the knife still firmly grasped in his head to raise the monster’s head, revealing his closed eyes and relaxed expression. “Is he… _asleep_?!”

Nate’s mouth hung open slightly, eyebrow raised. “What…what kind of _moron_ falls asleep in the middle if their own kidnapping?!”

The wall exploded.

The humans stumbled out of the way, letting out half-formed noises of shock and surprise as they scrambled to get out of the way of the rubble. Shadows in the dust formed three shivering silhouettes, then one moved and Papyrus was racing onto the room, panic clear in every bone in his body, an equally fearful and worried Frisk on his shoulders. “SANS?!” He scanned the room, sockets narrowing dangerously when he spotted the two cowering humans, but left them ignored for the time being. He finally spotted his brother to his right, and both he and the child visibly sagged with relief. “SANS!” His relief was short-livid, however, when he noticed how Sans slumped over, ropes tugging painfully at his bones and a magic-suppressing collar fastened tightly around his neck.

The two over silhouettes finally shifted, revealing a dazzling robot with a vampire-like grin and a furious Toriel. “Take care of you brother, darling,” Mettaton called, pressing a quick kiss to Papyrus’ cheek. We’ll deal with the humans.” The taller skeleton needed no further encouragement, darting to his precious sibling’s side, Frisk in tow.

Mettaton and Toriel turned back to the humans as Papyrus let Frisk slip from his shoulders to help untie Sans, seeing that was he protected and taken care of. Bright, angry flames appeared above Toriel’s clenched fists. Mettaton snapped his fingers, and four mini versions of his rectangular form popped into existence, each racing toward the humans and grabbing an arm each, forcing the humans to their knees. Toriel walked slowly toward them, and with each step the flames grew bigger and brighter. “Don’t kill them, Toriel darling,” Mettaton purred, smiling easily. “ _I_ would like a turn as well.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Mettaton.” The Boss Monster’s eyes never left the shaking humans. “I just intend on teaching them what happens when they mess with my family.”

Papyrus ignored the screams of the two humans in favor of attempting to shake Sans awake as Frisk picked at the knots holding him to the chair. He’d been all too relieved when he spotted his brother unharmed, as even the tiniest of injuries could shatter his fragile sibling. To replace his worry, annoyance quickly pushed its way to the forefront. “HONESTLY SANS, BY THE STARS, HOW COULD YOU FALL ASLEEP DURING YOUR OWN KIDNAPPING! DO YOU HAVE _ANY_ RESPECT FOR YOURSELF?!”

Sans grunted, and his eyes slowly fluttered open. At first they were wide and blank, but then his eyelights gradually faded into existence as he relaxed. “hey paps. dunno why you came. i had it completely under control.” He winked lazily, and Papyrus couldn’t help but notice that it was with his right eye. The older skeleton glanced down at Frisk, wincing slightly as the humans screamed in the background, and smiled at the child. “hey kid. i’m alright, i promise.”

He couldn’t help but tense as the kid’s bottom lip quivered, but then they were crawling into his lap and hugging him tight. Sans desperately wished he could reciprocate, especially when Frisk pressed their face to the side of his skull. “…I was so scared…” Their voice was barely a whisper, and once the words left their mouth they just clung to him tighter. Sans’ jaw fell open in shock. In all the time he’d known Frisk, through every RESET, he’d _never_ heard them speak. Without really thinking about it, he made to snap his fingers, magic bubbling. All he wanted was to get rid of the ropes, he just wanted to hug the kid back. Instantly his soul felt like it had burst into flames, his body seizing as the magic suppressor kicked in. His sockets went dark and his brain fogged over as agony shot through him like lightning. He couldn’t even make a sound. His limbs twitched uselessly.

And suddenly it was over. Sans’ vision returned to see Papyrus in what appeared to be mid-stroke, holding up the tattered remains of the collar, a bone attack in the other hand. Frisk was still in his lap, gripping his shoulders and shaking him, with tears pouring from their eyes. He was breathing harshly as he looked at them. “h-hey, please don’t cry. m’fiiiiii…”

Sans passed out.

Frisk immediately looked to Papyrus, eyes wide, shaking and sobbing. He himself wasn’t much better, but he managed to pull himself together for Frisk’s sake. He flung the collar as far away from him – and Sans – as he could get it, before raising his attack and carefully slicing through the ropes. Sans instantly slumped forward, with Frisk as his only support. “Mettaton? Toriel?” His voice much smaller than usual, he probably would never have been heard if the humans hadn’t stopped screaming. Mettaton turned his head at the sound of his name, then rushed over once he saw the scene, his disco ball attack vanishing in fountain of glitter, as well as the four Mini Mettatons holding up the now-unconscious humans.

The robot quickly scooped Frisk up into his arms, holding the sobbing child close. “Darlings, what happened? Is something wrong?” They were joined by Toriel, who immediately pressed her hands, glowing with green magic, to the sides of Sans’ skull.

Papyrus just pointed vaguely to the other side of the room. “Magic suppressor. I think I got it off before it did any real damage, but…” He sniffed, lingering on the verge of tears.

Mettaton knelt down beside him, pulling him into a hug and sandwiching Frisk in between them, “He’ll be _okay_ , darling. Nothing a little bedrest can’t fix. Why don’t we get him home and make him some of his favorite food and just let him recover. He’s been through quite the ordeal.”

Papyrus stood, standing stiffly for a second before lifting his unconscious brother into his arms and marching out through the way they came. “Yes, let’s go home!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter! I know I said the last chapter was my favorite to write, but THIS chapter is my personal favorite over all! I would just like to say that Flowey is absolutely HILARIOUS to work with!

Sans was missing.

 _Again_.

It had been _days_ since anyone, monster or human, had seen him. The entire monster race had been combing the city for days, franticly searching for any sign of the beloved, comedic skeleton. Undyne had yet to stop swearing, masking her worry with the constant urge to bench press _everything_ …usually Alphys. The scientist herself had been spending most of her time, when she was _not_ being suddenly lifted off her feet by her crazy girlfriend, making some machine that was supposed to pick up on Sans’ soul energy and lead them right to him. Of course, it wasn’t working yet, but she was hopeful.

Toriel and Asgore were taking turns looking after Frisk, one watching them while the other joined the search party. It was slightly difficult, even after a year and a half on the surface Toriel still refused to speak to her ex-husband unless absolutely necessary. To make things even _more_ complicated, Flowey had appeared on Toriel’s doorstep about a two weeks ago, grumbling in a large pot with Frisk at his side. They’d made him spill everything; who he was, how he’d come to be that way, his RESETs. Frisk had said nothing of their own experiences, but was overjoyed when Flowey had teared up a little, the first _real_ emotion he’d ever displayed in that form, when Toriel burst into tears and hugged the pot close.

And Papyrus…

Well…

Papyrus was losing his goddamn _mind_.

He refused to sleep, to eat, to even go home until he found his older brother. When the other monsters had long since retired for the night, he was still out on the streets of the city, trying to find any trace of Sans’ presence. In fact, he’d only been home once since Sans’ disappearance was discovered, and that was when Mettaton had forcibly dragged him back for some sorely needed sleep and food. Even now, he paced back and forth in his backyard, worrying incessantly and refusing to step one foot indoors and rest.

“I CAN’T TAKE IT, METTATON!” Papyrus gripped both sides of his skull with his hands. “WHAT IF HE WAS KIDNAPPED AGAIN?! WHAT IF HE’S LOST AND HE CAN’T FIND HIS WAY HOME?! WHAT IF HE’S _DEAD_ AND I’LL NEVER EVEN FIND HIS DUST!!!” The hysterical skeleton sobbed, swaying on his feet. His boyfriend caught him just in time.

“Stop worrying so much, Papyrus, I’m sure Sans is fine! He may not have a lot of HP, but he has some of the most powerful magic I’ve ever seen! He can handle himself,” Mettaton soothed, shifting to sit down in the grass and lay Papyrus in his lap. He idly stroked his skull, murmuring words of comfort while simultaneously keeping an eye on Frisk and Flowey, who were playing nearby. It was one of the few times Flowey was trusted, and supervised, enough that he was let out of his pot. The former prince was burrowing all over the yard, chasing the human child in what looked like a weird game of tag, Frisk shrieking with delight.

The robot star watched with wary eyes as Flowey sunk back below the Earth’s surface once more. He had no idea why, but the little flower just made him…uncomfortable. He wasn’t the only one either. Maybe it was the fact that the soulless monster used to be the beloved Prince Asriel, borderline unbelievable with how fundamentally _different_ their two personalities were. Or was it his smile – something about it just screamed _off_. Whatever it was, whenever Flowey glanced in his direction, Mettaton’s entire being locked up, crawling and itching with the instinct to _run_.

Frisk stepped carefully, dancing around the roots of the large, ancient maple tree that was the centerpiece of the Skelebros’ yard, every other sign of life radiating out from it. Suddenly their face broke out into a wide, devious grin as they jumped up onto the largest root.

Right as Flowey resurfaced.

The former prince slammed his head – er, whatever flowers had – right into the bottom of the arch of the root. “AHRG! _Holy fu_ – Frisk! Get back here you brat!” Flowey rubbed his injury with one warped vine, casting a murderous glance up at the offending root. He did a double-take, expression going flat, jaw slack. “Uh…Frisk? Sparkly Robot? Papyrus? You guys might want to get over here!”

Papyrus was upright and sprinting over to the little yellow flower in record time, leaving Mettaton in his dust, Frisk hot on his heels. Mettaton was quick to follow. “YES, FLOWEY? WHAT IS IT?” All he did was point wordlessly upwards with his vine, head still tilted in the same direction.

The two monsters and human followed his gaze, their faces soon identical to Flowey’s expression of disbelief.

 _Sans_ , yes _Sans_ , was lying on his back on a thick branch high above them, close to the top of the humongous tree, his limbs dangling over the sides. He was so high up, actually, that Papyrus couldn’t distinguish the dusty pink of his brother’s slippers from the stark white of his bones. His hood was pulled over his face, obscuring it from view, but his body language showed all the signs of the elder skeleton being in a deep, _deep_ sleep.

Papyrus blinked once, dramatically slowly, before beginning to shake, bones rattling loudly. His right eye began to spark with orange, twitching. Frisk stepped in front of him, a tight, nervous smile on their face. _“Hey! At least we found him, right?”_ Their hands stuttered, smile faltering. _“Papyrus?”_

“Papyrus, darling, if you just calm down, them we can work on getting him down, alri–”

“ _SANS!!!_ ” Papyrus’ shout was deafening. Even Flowey winced, ducking bellowing the ground in an attempt to muffle the sound. “ _SANS, GET DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT!!!_ ” The sleeping skeleton didn’t even twitch. Papyrus let out a frustrated scream, stopping his foot in agitation. He opened his mouth again, right eye glowing a bright, florescent yellowish-orange, but Flowey interrupted him before he could even begin his rant again.

“Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, hold on, Papyrus, I have an idea. Plus I’d rather you not dust us all with your screaming, holy _shi_ –” Mettaton cut him off with a deadly, warning glare. Flowey muttered something under his breath, something that sounded suspiciously like _‘stupid glittery pile of scrap’_ before closing his eyes. The ground rumbled, and suddenly Flowey was shooting into the air, his stem extending rapidly until it was about as thick around as the maple tree. Papyrus, Mettaton, and Frisk watched from the ground as Flowey leaned close to Sans head, his sickening, fanged grin visible even from a distance. There was a long, drawn out silence. Then–

“ _WAKEY WAKEY, TRASHBAG!_ ”

“ _GAH_ _!_ ” Sans’ eyes snapped open, starting so violently he fell off the branch. Milliseconds later, after a chorus of shrieking from all but Flowey, who was cackling madly, he vanished mid-air, a flash of light and a few sparks of bright blue magic where he once was. A slightly muffled shout of pain, panic, surprise, and sheer confusion echoed from the house. And then Sans was standing at the base of the tree, glaring up at the slowly shrinking – and still laughing – Flowey. “jesus _fuck_ , flowey, _what the fresh fuck was that for_?!”

Sans spun around, grumbling with his hands shoved in his pockets, fully intent on marching back angrily to the house, but the second he caught sight of his ‘audience’ his eyelights vanished, smile growing almost painfully taut and strained. “oh, h-hey bro, how’s it goin’?”

Papyrus tapped his foot, hands on his hips and eye still sparking. “HOW IT’S ‘GOING’, _BROTHER_ , IS THAT _YOU_ HAVE BEEN _MISSING_ FOR _DAYS_. _DAYS_ , SANS! THE ENTIRE MONSTER POPULATION HAS BEEN SEARCHING FOR YOU! AND YOU ARE JUST _HERE_ , IN OUR BACKYARD, TAKING A _NAP_!”

Somehow, Sans’ sockets darkened further, his figure trembling lightly. “d-days, huh? must be a new record, right bro?” Papyrus said nothing. Sans shrunk. Suddenly his soul was being pulled from his chest, glowing the deep blue of gravity magic, and he was yanked into the air, floating along behind his younger brother as he walked purposefully back to the house. “hey wait! papyrus! put me down, c’mon bro!”

Flowey snickered loudly. Even Frisk attempted to hide their giggles. Mettaton, however, appeared to be on Sans’ side. “Papyrus, darling, don’t you think this is a tiny bit excessive? Sans is fine!”

“SINCE SANS _INSISTS_ ON BEING SO IRRESPONSIBLE, NOT TO MENTION WORRYING ME TO DEATH, I AM GOING TO BE PLACING HIM ON HOUSE ARREST FOR A WHILE. WE ARE GOING TO BE SPENDING SOME _QUALITY_ TIME TOGETHER UNTIL HE LEARNS TO NOT RUN OFF, OR AT LEAST LEAVE A NOTE TO TELL ME WHERE HIS LATEST NAP WILL TAKE PLACE.”

Sans paled, his bones almost glowing. “you can’t be serious.” Papyrus simply tightened his magic a little bit more. The older skeleton winced. He flipped himself midair, turning to face Frisk and Flowey. His eyelights has yet to come back. “frisk? c’mon, wanna help these old bones out? please?” Frisk’s only response was to dissolve into a fit of laughter, flopping onto their back on the soft grass. Sans’ expression dropped into one of flat acceptance. “great. even my own kid finds my suffering hilarious. alright, bro, since my back-up has resigned me to my fate, do your worst. i can handle whatever bones you throw at me. that is assuming, of course, that you have the _guts_ to do it.” He winked. Flowey snorted. Papyrus groaned.

The blue glow around Sans’ soul disappeared, and he was dropped unceremoniously to the ground. Papyrus kept walking, grabbing Mettaton’s hand instead and dragging the star along. “YOU KNOW WHAT NEVER MIND. I’M GOING TO GO SEE IF DR. ALPHYS HAS MADE ANY PROGRESS WITH THE TRACKER. AND CALL OFF ALL THE SEARCH PARTIES.” He spun back around, pointing accusatorially at his brother, eye sockets narrowed. “YOU BETTER STILL BE IN THAT EXACT SPOT WHEN I GET BACK OR I _WILL_ PUT YOU ON A LEASH.”

Sans gave him a thumbs up. “hear ya loud and clear, paps.” He waited until the couple was long out of sight before turning to wink at the two kids, eyelights back and shimmering mischievously. There was a faint _pop!_ and he was gone, leaving a shower of blue and yellow sparks in his wake. “hey, so, can you two do me a solid and not rat me out to papyrus? i’m rather fond of my freedom.” Frisk and Flowey looked up. Sans was back on his branch, in the same position except this time he was on his stomach, smiling lazily down at them. Frisk nodded in enthusiastic agreement while Flowey just grinned toothily. Sans hoped his shudder wasn’t obvious from down there. No matter who that devil plant used to be, he would _never_ be able to fully trust him. Despite that, he let his eyes slip shut, the sound of Frisk’s delighted laughter as they and the flower resumed their game lulling him back to sleep.

* * *

 

…

…

…

“ _SAAAAAAAAAAANS!!!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's all, folks! I hope ye enjoyed this little story of mine!


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